No Chad Ocho Cinco

Email Print posted by yturks 09/10/2008 10:12:06 PM EST

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                  By Jayar Jackson
              as seen on jayarjackson.com

Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson...excuse me, Chad Ocho Cinco, has definitely kept himself in the spotlight during the offseason.  After being so upset about the moves, or lack thereof by his team in making sure they are a Super Bowl contender this season, he demanded a trade and eventually vowed to never play for them again.  After that got him nothing but grief from fans and the Sports Supreme Court we know as ESPN, he revisited a controversial issue from 2 seasons ago, just to spice things up.

Although known for his innovative touchdown celebrations, Chad Johnson started warm-ups for a week 8 game against the Falcons in '06 with "Ocho Cinco" attached to over his name with Velcro.  This harmless stunt which ended in Carson Palmer ripping the fake name off, revealing his normal, "C. Johnson" jersey cost Chad $5,000 in fines from the league. I guess those precious young NFL fans might get the wrong idea and start asking their parents about the devil language of Spanish in hopes of understand what their hero; Chad Johnson was trying to say with that devastating statement.  

Just before this fresh, new '08 season began, Chad Johnson legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco.  On Sunday's season-opening game when everyone expected to see the name legally and freely splattered on the back of the guy everyone loves to hate, we saw the boringly familiar C. Johnson instead.  What the hell, how did they put shackles on him now?  Apparently, those pesky contracts that the league has with Johnson's jersey maker, Reebok give them the power to demand the money for the unsold inventory of "C. Johnson" jerseys that they will no longer be selling due to the new style he invented for himself.  With a large inventory still getting stale in some warehouse somewhere, Chad Johnson's bail has been set at around "$500,000 to free himself to wear "Ocho Cinco," according to the Bengals website, even though I've been told the numbers stretch into the 6-figure range.

Sure, I understand the legality of contracts and the all important money everyone wants to get shored up before letting the man play with his new name on his back.  It's still disappointing to actually see that this legal agreement trumps the legality of Chad's new surname, Ocho Cinco.  We are constantly reminded that the popularity of the NFL and all the rules many of us complain about are all based in that all important dollar, but we are reminded of this by painting the players as the money-hungry savages that don't care about your kid or the examples they set for them.  The millions of dollars these players get from the billionaire owners is obtained in a penny pinching struggle set up to minimize the final payoff after depleting the athlete of his bodily worth for their profit.

Yeah, it's annoying when players holdout at the beginning of the season for more money after their contract holds them to a lower millionaire status.  But what about the times that money is scammed away in fines due to measly rule interpretations that are posed as unsportsmanlike?

Some complain that Chad Johnson is screwing over 10 year old Matty by changing his name right after the poor kid saved up his lemonade stand money to buy a $70 jersey with "C. Johnson" on the back and now its worthless.  When is someone going to teach Matty that Chad Johnson isn't his father and the good guys at Reebok don't really care about his lemonade stand either, just that he gathers another $70 for a new one.

When the Patriots lost the Super Bowl and didn't live up to their 19-0 status, the t-shirt and hat makers didn't demand money from the Patriots' billionaire owner Bob Kraft for not giving them the opportunity to sell that merchandise.  The swag was donated to poor children in Nicaragua, where no one really cared about "undefeated" and "historic."  So after little Matty watches SportsCenter's ruling on the desire of Chad Johnson to negatively influence kids and the NFL, prompting him to ask his parents why Johnson hates him, they should just tell him that Reebok is run by heartless cash-driven people with dollar signs in their eyes, not caring about his hard work with his diseased lemonade stand or the less fortunate in other countries.  

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No Chad Ocho Cinco | 2 comments (2 topical, 0 hidden)
I think the Ocho Cinco is kind of a dick, (none / 0)
but I do have to support him here, at least a little bit.  I can certainly accept rules of conduct and appearance on the field, and even, begrudgingly, some rules of conduct and appearance off the field, but you can't fuck with someone's name.  The right to call yourself what you want is a fundamental freedom, especially when backed up through the proper legal channels.  Even if it is silly.  In New Zealand, the government has actually legally barred some parents from giving their children names that they deem to be psychologically damaging.  some of these names were pretty horrible, but it is still very uncomfortable seeing a government forcing someone to change their name, and I don't think I agree with it there either. ( some of the names were hilarious, I'll try to find the story again and post a link later ).

I do somewhat buy the argument about the jersey sales, at least as far as the actual retailers are concerned.  I am sure Reebok can deal with the loss (less bathrrom breaks for the 10 year olds sewing them together), but the local small store retailers might have some financial loss from this.  But even if you buy into that, he should have been given the right to wear the new name pending any legal investigation of his responsibilities.  And outright buying the old ones seems too harsh to me.  Possibly they could hold a percentage of his share of the new jerseys while still allowing him to go forward with the new name.

As far as the antics and large paychecks are concerned, I think there is definetly an argument for multi million dollar salaries, especialy in contact sports.  The condition that many of these guys are in when they hit their 40's and 50's is sometimes heartbreaking.  these guys literally give their bodies up to the game.  I don't remeber the exact stats, but I have read that most NFL players on average live remarkably shorter lives than the general population, (something between 5 to 10 years less) possibly due to all of the physcial trauma they endure (I think maybe this also has something to do with their size, but I need to look into it more).  I don't know if i could put a price on my good health, but If I had had to, it would definetly be huge.

by funkyspoon on 09/11/2008 01:01:59 AM EST

It doesn't help (none / 0)
that CJ is terrible this year, due to injury and poor play from Palmer.

But the week 1 match-up was brutal, so maybe they'll get it together eventually. Plus who knows if Chris Perry can handle the load with Rudi Johnson gone.

by ihavenobias on 09/13/2008 02:55:36 PM EST

No Chad Ocho Cinco | 2 comments (2 topical, 0 hidden)
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